1 00:00:15,435 --> 00:00:18,053 _ 2 00:00:18,751 --> 00:00:20,683 _ 3 00:00:30,167 --> 00:00:31,544 Frankie, are you awake? 4 00:00:31,545 --> 00:00:34,220 I'm in bed, but I only rest half my brain at a time. Go! 5 00:00:34,221 --> 00:00:35,300 Greendale in jeopardy. 6 00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:38,510 Need to call emergency meeting, ASAP, no time to explain. 7 00:00:38,511 --> 00:00:42,520 I can be at the school in 30 minutes, and I'll have the Dean notify the others. 8 00:00:42,521 --> 00:00:46,050 - Could you notify the others? - You don't think the Dean can handle it? 9 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,824 Do what you think is best. 10 00:00:48,825 --> 00:00:56,684 Annie Edison requesting emergency meeting at school in 30. Greendale in trouble. 11 00:00:56,884 --> 00:00:59,200 - I'll notify the others. - I can do that if you like. 12 00:00:59,201 --> 00:01:02,370 I think I can handle notifying others, thank you very much. 13 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,710 Annie, Jeffrey, emergency meeting at the school in 30 minutes. 14 00:01:07,711 --> 00:01:10,440 I already know. I'm the one calling the meeting. 15 00:01:10,441 --> 00:01:13,370 - What up, yo? - Who is this other number? 16 00:01:13,371 --> 00:01:15,810 It's a group text. I'm texting you and Jeffrey. 17 00:01:15,811 --> 00:01:19,480 It's me. I am Jeffrey, best friend of Dean. 18 00:01:19,481 --> 00:01:21,370 Hi, Jeffrey. Hm. 19 00:01:21,371 --> 00:01:23,414 Dean, that number is not in my phone as Jeff's, 20 00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:25,514 and it doesn't even look like an American phone number. 21 00:01:28,893 --> 00:01:33,310 Oh, my God. How stupid can I get? 22 00:01:33,311 --> 00:01:36,020 You never told me you gave Annie a fake phone number. 23 00:01:36,021 --> 00:01:40,310 Yes, Dean, this is me, Jeffrey, you are best friend. 24 00:01:40,311 --> 00:01:41,340 Hold on, I'll cover. 25 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:47,220 You're right, I had the wrong number, see you at the school. 26 00:01:47,221 --> 00:01:50,130 I am so sorry, Jeffrey. I hope I didn't get you in trouble. 27 00:01:50,131 --> 00:01:54,044 No worries, Dean. I love you. 28 00:01:54,045 --> 00:01:58,130 You're always so sweet, when we're texting, but then in real life. 29 00:01:58,131 --> 00:02:01,710 Bro, I just secret that way with love. You know, my style. 30 00:02:01,711 --> 00:02:04,720 We keep loving in text, but then secret forever. 31 00:02:04,721 --> 00:02:05,220 Meow. 32 00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:07,112 Oh, hm. 33 00:02:07,113 --> 00:02:11,185 Meow. 34 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:38,424 35 00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:50,740 Annie, if you're not dying, I'm gonna murder you. 36 00:02:50,741 --> 00:02:54,112 I had to remove my night cream, it's $200 an ounce. 37 00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:56,847 It's 3 A.M. in the fricking morning, Edison, 38 00:02:56,848 --> 00:02:58,503 what gives you the right to haul us in here? 39 00:02:58,703 --> 00:03:00,270 Chang, how did you even find out about this? 40 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:03,550 I have a right to be here. 41 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:04,050 Hi! 42 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:06,620 Why are you awake? 43 00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:09,540 I have a theory about this, Britta may be secretly twins. 44 00:03:09,541 --> 00:03:13,358 - No, I was working. - At the bar? Does that mean you're drunk? 45 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:14,415 Could a drunk person do this? 46 00:03:21,553 --> 00:03:23,465 Hi, everybody. 47 00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:25,830 Jeffrey. 48 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:30,140 Okay, 41 minutes ago, I received this email from a friend that interns at KZBC. 49 00:03:30,141 --> 00:03:31,130 The TV station? 50 00:03:31,131 --> 00:03:34,416 No, the unrelated, totally random combination of those four letters. 51 00:03:34,417 --> 00:03:35,005 Meow. 52 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:39,470 Subject: "Heads up." Annie, still going to Greendale? 53 00:03:39,471 --> 00:03:40,630 Thought you should know, 54 00:03:40,631 --> 00:03:43,640 City College is running a negative ad about your school at 7 A.M. 55 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,710 Heard it's pretty bad. 56 00:03:45,711 --> 00:03:50,250 Let me see that. City College is running an attack ad? 57 00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:51,260 That's a first. 58 00:03:51,261 --> 00:03:54,450 They're getting desperate. Our registration numbers are trending upward. 59 00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:58,180 Because the population keeps growing, and no one here ever graduates. 60 00:03:58,181 --> 00:04:01,080 Actually, our numbers are up because of improvements Frankie's made. 61 00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:04,910 Those improvements, were only possible through your hard work, Annie. 62 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,280 Oh, get a boardroom. 63 00:04:06,281 --> 00:04:07,320 Interesting. 64 00:04:07,321 --> 00:04:09,680 When were you gonna share the whole truth about this, 65 00:04:09,681 --> 00:04:11,880 - and not just the parts that suit you? - What? 66 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,392 "PS: I was glad to hear Brenda's doing better." 67 00:04:15,393 --> 00:04:18,354 Ha? Ha? 68 00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:25,210 Just because City College is scared, doesn't mean they're not dangerous. 69 00:04:25,211 --> 00:04:28,370 Is there anything in particular they could smear us with? 70 00:04:28,371 --> 00:04:32,390 Nothing in particular, just overlapping clouds of many thousands 71 00:04:32,391 --> 00:04:33,330 and thousands of things. 72 00:04:33,331 --> 00:04:36,260 - Let's not forget the Brenda factor. - There isn't a Brenda factor. 73 00:04:36,261 --> 00:04:40,050 He says she's doing better. Better than what? 74 00:04:40,051 --> 00:04:42,140 Her thyroid condition! Can you focus? 75 00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:43,540 Can Brenda? 76 00:04:43,541 --> 00:04:44,880 Probably more so, now. 77 00:04:44,881 --> 00:04:46,910 Okay, we need to see this ad before it airs. 78 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:47,950 I'm working on getting us a copy. 79 00:04:47,951 --> 00:04:50,030 I have friends in the AV department at City College. 80 00:04:50,031 --> 00:04:50,640 Ooh la la. 81 00:04:50,641 --> 00:04:53,280 The brotherhood of AV exists beyond your petty factionalism. 82 00:04:53,281 --> 00:04:56,267 We serve only video, the one true queen, and her faithful consort, audio. 83 00:04:56,268 --> 00:04:57,518 Oh, could you guys be bigger nerds? 84 00:04:57,519 --> 00:04:59,478 No, most of us have achieved our maximum potential. 85 00:04:59,479 --> 00:05:00,354 Well, Annie's right. 86 00:05:00,355 --> 00:05:05,776 We do have a situation here, so we will make this our situation room. 87 00:05:05,777 --> 00:05:06,870 Yes. 88 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,650 We need whiteboards, corkboards, laptops. 89 00:05:09,651 --> 00:05:11,550 A bunch of clocks with different times on them, a red phone, 90 00:05:11,551 --> 00:05:14,130 a big tabletop map with little Nazi tanks, and/or a Godzilla. 91 00:05:14,131 --> 00:05:15,780 The ad airs at 7 A.M. 92 00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:18,560 That means we have four hours and 13 minutes 93 00:05:18,561 --> 00:05:21,540 to figure out what they're throwing at us and how to respond. 94 00:05:21,541 --> 00:05:23,517 You know, it's the darndest thing, 95 00:05:23,717 --> 00:05:26,110 I think Britta somehow crapped in my pants too. 96 00:05:26,111 --> 00:05:27,390 Uh-huh, better head home. 97 00:05:27,391 --> 00:05:29,190 Jeff, you can't just leave a situation room. 98 00:05:29,191 --> 00:05:31,870 It's only a situation room, because she called it that. 99 00:05:31,871 --> 00:05:33,708 I mean I could declare it a... 100 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:35,431 Cookie room! 101 00:05:35,432 --> 00:05:37,990 There are no cookies. There is a situation. 102 00:05:37,991 --> 00:05:43,180 You guys, where's the Greendale spirit! Where's the pride? 103 00:05:43,181 --> 00:05:45,590 - I'm fine. - Found it. 104 00:05:45,591 --> 00:05:48,380 She was wandering around campus, without pants. 105 00:05:49,470 --> 00:05:51,530 - What's going on in here? - Situation room. 106 00:05:51,531 --> 00:05:53,880 - What's the situation? - Brenda's got a bad thyroid. 107 00:05:53,881 --> 00:05:55,800 I'm sorry to hear that. You can keep the pants. 108 00:05:55,801 --> 00:05:57,960 - I'm going back to bed. - I'm going with him. 109 00:05:57,961 --> 00:05:59,590 - I'm gonna watch. - Got it! 110 00:05:59,591 --> 00:06:00,660 Downloading it now. 111 00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:02,460 You work hard to earn your degree, 112 00:06:02,461 --> 00:06:05,120 and your school should work hard to make that degree valuable. 113 00:06:05,121 --> 00:06:08,620 So, why is Greendale Community College giving degrees to dogs? 114 00:06:08,621 --> 00:06:11,520 In 2001, a Staffordshire terrier mix named Ruffles took up 115 00:06:11,521 --> 00:06:13,410 residence on Greendale's campus. 116 00:06:13,411 --> 00:06:16,390 By 2008, Ruffles had earned a Bachelor's Degree. 117 00:06:16,391 --> 00:06:18,970 Not a two year degree, a four year degree. 118 00:06:18,971 --> 00:06:20,700 Where will you get your degree? 119 00:06:20,701 --> 00:06:24,270 If the answer is Greendale, prepare to get boned. 120 00:06:24,271 --> 00:06:26,280 Paid for by City College, license 264392. 121 00:06:30,475 --> 00:06:33,823 Did we give a degree to a dog? 122 00:06:37,451 --> 00:06:41,163 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - Okay, it's okay, it's all right. 123 00:06:45,459 --> 00:06:49,498 So, this is Greendale, not City College? 124 00:06:51,132 --> 00:06:52,883 I'm gonna get more pants. 125 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,700 They've been calling me in to do more stuff lately. It's pretty exciting. 126 00:07:04,701 --> 00:07:06,970 Well trust me, we'll be lucky if we get in three words before... 127 00:07:06,971 --> 00:07:11,982 The first step is to pull our facts. The most important one being, Dean Pelton. 128 00:07:11,983 --> 00:07:14,500 Did Greendale Community College give a degree to a dog? 129 00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:20,990 I seem to recall, no. 130 00:07:20,991 --> 00:07:23,630 No way. There's absolutely no way. 131 00:07:23,631 --> 00:07:24,810 Not that dog. 132 00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,910 - That dog? - You remember the dog. 133 00:07:26,911 --> 00:07:31,030 - Was it enrolled in classes? - Hm. 134 00:07:31,031 --> 00:07:32,660 How are these hard questions? 135 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,540 Why, are these the questions you're asking? 136 00:07:35,541 --> 00:07:38,150 You don't wanna know, if a dog got a degree here? 137 00:07:38,151 --> 00:07:39,570 It's not important. 138 00:07:39,571 --> 00:07:44,690 What I wanna know is, did a dog get a degree here, in any way that can be proven? 139 00:07:44,691 --> 00:07:46,750 Ooh, I like that, Jeffrey. 140 00:07:46,751 --> 00:07:48,930 I don't like that! I like the truth. 141 00:07:48,931 --> 00:07:50,330 Play lawyer on your own time. 142 00:07:50,331 --> 00:07:53,610 This is my own time. You wanted me invested? 143 00:07:53,611 --> 00:07:58,790 Well, this dump cuts my paychecks, and I've got three hours to defend it. 144 00:07:58,791 --> 00:08:01,340 So, how many seconds of that should I waste on truth, 145 00:08:01,341 --> 00:08:04,780 which is an artificial construct that rarely holds up in court, 146 00:08:04,781 --> 00:08:08,200 and has never changed the outcome of a fight. 147 00:08:08,201 --> 00:08:10,940 - I'm sorry you have to see him like this. - Well, he is right about one thing, 148 00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:14,910 if City College can't support their claim, it's libel, we can have 149 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:19,160 the station pull the ad, but that is precisely why the truth does matter. 150 00:08:19,161 --> 00:08:22,480 - The Brenda paradox. - I found the dog. 151 00:08:22,481 --> 00:08:24,240 I also found a lot of people's social security numbers. 152 00:08:24,241 --> 00:08:25,860 You know, this incident's gone to far. 153 00:08:25,861 --> 00:08:26,360 Yeah. 154 00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:30,340 This says she's registered as a border terrier. 155 00:08:30,341 --> 00:08:32,230 - They said Staffordshire in the commercial. - Isn't that something? 156 00:08:32,231 --> 00:08:35,980 I mean we've known this animal 30 seconds and she's already unreliable. 157 00:08:35,981 --> 00:08:37,920 Who is the real Ruffles? 158 00:08:37,921 --> 00:08:41,190 I'm sorry. Our strategy is to go after the dog? 159 00:08:41,191 --> 00:08:45,420 Our strategy is denial, which includes discrediting the source. 160 00:08:45,421 --> 00:08:47,100 Aben, can you make one of those attack ads? 161 00:08:47,101 --> 00:08:49,750 Jeff wants me to make me an attack ad. So, why is he a pedophile? 162 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,812 - Just demonstrating the formula. - You can refine your technique as you go. 163 00:08:55,813 --> 00:09:01,270 I wanna know everything about this Ruffles, she thinks she went to this school, fine. 164 00:09:01,271 --> 00:09:04,220 But, maybe she thinks cat turds are delicious. 165 00:09:04,221 --> 00:09:07,890 And maybe she barks just a little bit more, at black mailmen. 166 00:09:07,891 --> 00:09:11,770 And she's spayed now, but how many puppies are out there? 167 00:09:11,771 --> 00:09:13,790 If you do this, we're no better than City College. 168 00:09:13,791 --> 00:09:18,100 We've never been better than City College. We gave a degree to a dog. 169 00:09:18,101 --> 00:09:20,940 Allegedly, this conversation is privileged. 170 00:09:20,941 --> 00:09:25,870 I could do a Banksy style stencil of a dog, and spray paint it all over a school. 171 00:09:25,871 --> 00:09:26,760 That sounds great! 172 00:09:26,761 --> 00:09:29,350 But first, why don't you go get a bunch of coffee, 173 00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:33,360 drink all of it, then go get some more and bring it back here. 174 00:09:33,361 --> 00:09:34,066 I actually love that idea. 175 00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:35,560 - Mm-hm. - I'll go with her. 176 00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:38,060 She's wearing my pants. 177 00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:41,560 I know this is crazy, but I'm gonna check the school records to see if, 178 00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:45,380 you know, we gave a degree to a dog. 179 00:09:45,381 --> 00:09:46,440 - We didn't. - That's good. 180 00:09:46,441 --> 00:09:49,150 You guys go find that truth you love so much. 181 00:09:49,151 --> 00:09:51,465 If it's the kind we can use, bring it back. 182 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,215 If not, you know, stuff gets lost. 183 00:09:54,216 --> 00:09:57,485 No. No. Bad! We are better than City College. 184 00:09:57,486 --> 00:09:58,821 We always have been. 185 00:09:58,822 --> 00:10:02,740 Which is why I know, that we did not give a degree to a dog. 186 00:10:07,787 --> 00:10:12,500 Oh. 187 00:10:12,501 --> 00:10:14,960 I say we fight fire with fire. 188 00:10:14,961 --> 00:10:19,210 City College try to embarrass us? We should embarrass them, right? 189 00:10:19,211 --> 00:10:19,780 Right. 190 00:10:19,781 --> 00:10:22,540 I say I go to City College with a camera, 191 00:10:22,541 --> 00:10:26,000 shoot a really gross porno movie on their campus and put it online. 192 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,210 - Fine. - Cool. 193 00:10:29,812 --> 00:10:30,518 Wait, what? 194 00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:40,110 It's very inspiring to watch you work. 195 00:10:40,111 --> 00:10:42,320 You are inspiring, too. 196 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:44,980 In what way? 197 00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:49,580 I need olives, can you bring me olives? 198 00:10:49,581 --> 00:10:52,470 Not again. You did this a month ago. 199 00:10:52,471 --> 00:10:56,240 Then I brought them to you, and you acted like you hated them. 200 00:10:56,241 --> 00:11:00,149 It's only my style to be secret, please bring me five can of olives. 201 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,030 Five cans? 202 00:11:03,031 --> 00:11:07,740 But don't believe me if I say I don't like. I'm just pretending I hate olives. 203 00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:20,344 Honestly? I couldn't care less if they gave a dog a degree. 204 00:11:20,345 --> 00:11:21,408 Me neither. 205 00:11:22,570 --> 00:11:25,239 In fact, I kinda hope they did. 206 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,408 - Well, why is that? - I don't know. 207 00:11:27,409 --> 00:11:30,130 They all treat me like I'm a joke. 208 00:11:30,131 --> 00:11:34,160 But if a dog got a degree, that means we're all a joke. 209 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:34,660 Mm. 210 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:36,180 Whoa. 211 00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:40,230 Natalie is freezing? 212 00:11:40,231 --> 00:11:42,800 - You know them? - Yeah of course I know. But how do you? 213 00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:43,650 - You're... - Black? 214 00:11:43,651 --> 00:11:44,150 No. Old. 215 00:11:44,151 --> 00:11:49,950 Oh, I'm sorry I just meant that, when I was into them I was like 15. 216 00:11:49,951 --> 00:11:50,730 I was like 40. 217 00:11:50,731 --> 00:11:53,520 I never really listened to music, when I was growing up. 218 00:11:53,521 --> 00:11:58,232 I was in my own world, but one day at work, I heard this sound. 219 00:11:58,233 --> 00:12:00,524 It was Pillar of Garbage. 220 00:12:00,525 --> 00:12:03,778 Oh, that is their best song. Best song. 221 00:12:03,779 --> 00:12:04,862 I've got it right here. 222 00:12:04,863 --> 00:12:06,781 - Would you play it? - Yeah. 223 00:12:08,332 --> 00:12:15,697 [MUSIC] 224 00:12:45,528 --> 00:12:46,987 You know, you know what? 225 00:12:46,988 --> 00:12:49,827 You know, those guys are going to need coffee if they're going to keep 226 00:12:49,828 --> 00:12:51,440 that dog from having a degree. 227 00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:54,940 There are things at, at stake here. I, I get that now. 228 00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:02,440 I found the smell. Someone filed a taco. 229 00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:07,026 Things that will otherwise get filed straight to my thighs. 230 00:13:07,027 --> 00:13:13,391 Hm, so I know you agree with me that we need to find the truth, 231 00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:16,290 but do you agree that the truth won't be horrible? 232 00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:20,280 I'm not psychic Annie, that's an illusion caused by extreme preparedness. 233 00:13:20,281 --> 00:13:22,070 But, what do you hope is true? 234 00:13:22,071 --> 00:13:25,270 Oh, God, no, I never hope. Hope is pouting in advance. 235 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,780 Hope is faith's richer, bitchier sister. 236 00:13:27,781 --> 00:13:32,600 Hope is the deformed attic bound incest monster offspring of entitlement and fear. 237 00:13:32,601 --> 00:13:35,060 My life results tripled the year I gave up hope 238 00:13:35,061 --> 00:13:37,760 and every game on my phone that had anything to do with farming. 239 00:13:37,761 --> 00:13:41,090 What's true will be true, Annie. Our job is to deal with that truth. 240 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,740 - You sound a little like Jeff. - Jeff said I sound like Abed. 241 00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,715 I wonder if Britta thinks I sound like Chang. 242 00:13:47,716 --> 00:13:51,650 I assume Chang thinks I sound like distant explosions and crying babies, 243 00:13:51,651 --> 00:13:53,596 you know, he's unstable, right? 244 00:13:53,597 --> 00:13:55,390 Yep. 245 00:13:55,391 --> 00:13:58,976 Oh, a transcript for Ruffles. 246 00:13:58,977 --> 00:14:01,979 - You think that's our guy? - I do. 247 00:14:06,734 --> 00:14:10,779 - Oh my God. - So many classes. 248 00:14:13,824 --> 00:14:17,203 - See what hope does? - Screw you, Frankie! 249 00:14:18,579 --> 00:14:22,210 I'm sorry, Annie. But I don't think you're seeing this for what it is. 250 00:14:22,211 --> 00:14:27,830 It's a transcript for a dog. A really, really long one! 251 00:14:27,831 --> 00:14:30,870 It's proof that Jeff was right. This school has no value. 252 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,250 Yeah, but this folder has no degree. Look. 253 00:14:33,251 --> 00:14:35,547 What's that? 254 00:14:37,282 --> 00:14:38,655 Victory. 255 00:14:38,656 --> 00:14:39,683 You know, within the context of Greendale. 256 00:14:42,311 --> 00:14:44,814 - Would it be better if we... - No. 257 00:14:44,815 --> 00:14:47,190 - Never know until you try. - Never know until I try. 258 00:14:47,191 --> 00:14:48,830 - What? - I said we're quite a team. 259 00:14:48,831 --> 00:14:53,520 Here's the coffee. Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help. 260 00:14:53,521 --> 00:14:55,550 We could use some fresh eyes on this cut. 261 00:14:55,551 --> 00:14:56,060 We could? 262 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,830 Has anyone told you you're difficult to work with? 263 00:14:57,831 --> 00:14:59,996 Everyone in your line of work. 264 00:14:59,997 --> 00:15:01,497 This is Ruffles. 265 00:15:01,498 --> 00:15:04,458 She'd like you to believe she's a college graduate and a good girl. 266 00:15:04,459 --> 00:15:06,544 But Ruffles is anything, but... 267 00:15:06,545 --> 00:15:09,790 When Ruffles moved into her neighborhood in 2007, 268 00:15:09,791 --> 00:15:11,799 dead squirrels went up by 17%. 269 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:12,675 Coincidence? 270 00:15:12,676 --> 00:15:14,426 Ask this bunny. 271 00:15:14,427 --> 00:15:18,046 Ruffles stole cookies from a Girl Scout, impersonated a lobster, 272 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,840 has had 27 children with five different fathers, 273 00:15:20,841 --> 00:15:23,519 and, according to one local doctor, has worms. 274 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,563 Ruffles might claim she doesn't. 275 00:15:25,564 --> 00:15:27,628 Ruffles claims a lot of things, 276 00:15:27,629 --> 00:15:31,235 maybe that's why Ruffles once spent time on death row. 277 00:15:31,236 --> 00:15:35,910 Ruffles, not a lobster, not a student, not a good dog. 278 00:15:35,911 --> 00:15:37,520 Paid for by humanity versus Ruffles. 279 00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:41,220 I originally wanted the voice-over to be a James Earl Jones impersonator, 280 00:15:41,221 --> 00:15:43,180 but the James Spader impersonator turned out pretty good. 281 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:48,377 I do wish he'd leave, though. 282 00:15:48,378 --> 00:15:50,214 - You really let that dog have it. - Yeah. 283 00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:53,854 Which I, I realize, is important now. 284 00:15:53,855 --> 00:15:55,759 - Is it okay if I crash on... - Yeah. Yes. Yes. 285 00:16:03,059 --> 00:16:04,950 - What are you doing? - Nothing at all. 286 00:16:04,951 --> 00:16:07,560 I wouldn't say that. You just put five huge cans of olives next to me. 287 00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:10,050 Just something I felt like doing. 288 00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:13,180 This isn't the first time you've done this. 289 00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,320 I'm really confused by this. 290 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,210 - Is it code for something? - I don't know. 291 00:16:22,970 --> 00:16:25,600 And I don't care. 292 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,560 Jackpot, relative to Greendale. 293 00:16:28,561 --> 00:16:34,600 My God, look at the course load, this dog was an animal. 294 00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:36,120 Most of them were attendance based. 295 00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,178 How is this good news? 296 00:16:37,179 --> 00:16:43,320 Unpaid library fees, 15 dollars, diploma withheld until payment remitted. 297 00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:47,090 No degree, the commercial's a lie. 298 00:16:47,091 --> 00:16:49,620 I'm gonna call the station right now and have them pull the ad. 299 00:16:49,621 --> 00:16:51,970 Eat crap Ruffles, and not just your own. 300 00:16:51,971 --> 00:16:55,130 - Guys, let it go. - What are you talking about? 301 00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:58,450 The sad truth is that a dog can get a degree here. 302 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,050 Yeah, but the happy truth is none did. 303 00:17:00,051 --> 00:17:02,850 There's a difference between truth and honesty. 304 00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,890 Library dues? Who cares! 305 00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:09,520 Ruffles put the work in relative to Greendale. 306 00:17:09,521 --> 00:17:12,230 That City College ad may be technically a lie, 307 00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:16,860 but it's really dishonest to kill it on a technicality. 308 00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:19,770 And dragging this dog's name through the mud? 309 00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:21,763 That's worse than dishonest. That's evil! 310 00:17:21,764 --> 00:17:24,820 Evil? I'll cop to silly. 311 00:17:24,821 --> 00:17:28,320 Somethings are silly and evil, like candy cigarettes. 312 00:17:28,321 --> 00:17:30,230 And remember when Flava Flav had that reality show? 313 00:17:30,231 --> 00:17:31,470 I don't own a TV. 314 00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:39,670 Honestly, I think the most honest thing we can do right now. 315 00:17:39,671 --> 00:17:43,090 The only thing that will make us better then City College, 316 00:17:43,091 --> 00:17:45,579 is to let that ad run and take our lumps. 317 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:50,830 Annie, this started with me sleeping and getting yelled at for not helping. 318 00:17:50,831 --> 00:17:53,950 If it ends with you yelling at me for not sleeping, that's not a story, 319 00:17:53,951 --> 00:17:55,320 that's a German art film. 320 00:17:55,321 --> 00:17:58,010 Let, let it go. 321 00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:02,390 I am a female student being physically overpowered by a male teacher. 322 00:18:02,391 --> 00:18:03,762 Damn it! Britta, get her. 323 00:18:05,514 --> 00:18:10,090 - Frankie, get her! - Annie, sweetie, think about this practically. 324 00:18:10,091 --> 00:18:14,800 If being better than City College means letting them destroy us then what is the point? 325 00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:18,600 If surviving means being like them, what's the point? 326 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:24,080 Why not let one school die, and enroll at the one where my grades matter. 327 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,623 If those are your terms. 328 00:18:27,624 --> 00:18:30,539 If the price of that transcript is you transferring? 329 00:18:37,087 --> 00:18:40,040 We accept. Personally, I hope you're bluffing. 330 00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:47,040 Yeah, well, here's what hope gets you. Hope and $1.49 will get you a candy bar. 331 00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:49,058 - Buck 79. - Are you serious? Jesus! 332 00:18:50,476 --> 00:18:56,170 Have fun with your lying, cheating, dog smearing, 333 00:18:56,171 --> 00:19:00,986 truth blurring, trouser swapping school. 334 00:19:03,572 --> 00:19:05,690 I remember when candy bars were 50 cents. 335 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:10,110 If someone says, hey, I just joined Mensa. 336 00:19:10,111 --> 00:19:13,130 Or I consider myself a postmodern this or that. 337 00:19:13,131 --> 00:19:16,770 You could say, yeah, that and $. 50 could get you a candy bar, 338 00:19:16,771 --> 00:19:18,580 or that and a quarter could get you a phone call. 339 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,120 It was easy to be unimpressed back then. 340 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,940 I mean it was, literally, cheaper. 341 00:19:25,941 --> 00:19:29,056 All right, we're kinda bummed out right now. Annie has just left. 342 00:19:29,057 --> 00:19:32,895 Oh, were you guys close? 343 00:19:59,503 --> 00:20:02,154 - Abed, I don't wanna talk right now. - Okay. 344 00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:08,012 Just so you know, the Greendale ad is gonna go up any time now. 345 00:20:08,013 --> 00:20:08,929 I thought you might want to see it. 346 00:20:08,930 --> 00:20:10,769 - You know I don't to be a part of that. - Just trust me. 347 00:20:16,645 --> 00:20:18,240 This is Ruffles. 348 00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:21,080 Ruffles was a student at Greendale Community College, 349 00:20:21,081 --> 00:20:24,800 she came really close to getting a degree, which means two things. 350 00:20:24,801 --> 00:20:30,150 She's an exceptional dog, and Greendale really needs to get its shit together. 351 00:20:30,151 --> 00:20:31,410 We're working on it. 352 00:20:31,411 --> 00:20:32,250 We're working hard. 353 00:20:32,251 --> 00:20:36,090 And the good news is, when you work hard at Greendale, 354 00:20:36,091 --> 00:20:39,113 no matter who or what you are, it pays off. 355 00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:41,718 Right, Ruffles? 356 00:20:41,719 --> 00:20:42,780 Jesus. 357 00:20:42,781 --> 00:20:46,345 Greendale Community College. You're already accepted. 358 00:20:49,137 --> 00:20:52,723 You guys I knew you wouldn't do that to Ruffles. 359 00:20:52,724 --> 00:20:55,226 - You hoped. - I hoped and it worked. 360 00:20:55,227 --> 00:20:57,853 - Hope points. - Hope points. 361 00:20:57,854 --> 00:21:00,935 You do understand that what we did, was also just the most prudent tactical move, 362 00:21:00,936 --> 00:21:04,520 getting in front of the scandal, Letterman style. 363 00:21:04,521 --> 00:21:10,280 Yes, Jeff, don't worry. I promise I'll never mistake you for having a heart. 364 00:21:10,281 --> 00:21:10,874 Thank you. 365 00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:13,121 Kiss City College goodbye. 366 00:21:13,122 --> 00:21:15,246 - I did it. - Did what? 367 00:21:15,247 --> 00:21:18,082 That stuff we talked about. 368 00:21:18,083 --> 00:21:20,545 - Who are you? - I'm the plumber? 369 00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:22,545 - Why? - Here's why! 370 00:21:22,546 --> 00:21:23,045 Oh. 371 00:21:23,046 --> 00:21:23,548 Oh, God. 372 00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:30,052 Aw. 373 00:21:30,053 --> 00:21:32,304 This is pornography? Doy. 374 00:21:32,305 --> 00:21:34,181 - You're the only actor. - So? 375 00:21:34,182 --> 00:21:35,850 What kind of lens is this? 376 00:21:35,851 --> 00:21:40,470 - Who cares? - You might be a genius. 377 00:21:40,471 --> 00:21:41,330 Why did you do this? 378 00:21:41,331 --> 00:21:45,100 What parent is going to let their kid go to a school if a porn got shot there? 379 00:21:45,101 --> 00:21:47,560 But you shot in front of a plaster wall that could be anywhere. 380 00:21:47,561 --> 00:21:49,240 And you're wearing your Greendale T-shirt. 381 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:55,705 Okay genius, but the title is Chang does Greendale, oh wait. 382 00:22:02,918 --> 00:22:04,579 Reshoots. 383 00:22:08,874 --> 00:22:11,368 _ 384 00:22:11,833 --> 00:22:14,865 _ 385 00:22:15,065 --> 00:22:18,436 _ 386 00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:23,234 _ 387 00:22:23,913 --> 00:22:26,263 _ 388 00:22:26,463 --> 00:22:29,868 _ 389 00:22:30,068 --> 00:22:32,603 _ 390 00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:35,022 _ 391 00:22:36,026 --> 00:22:41,977 _ 392 00:22:57,188 --> 00:23:00,200 The Dean? Hellos? 393 00:23:00,201 --> 00:23:02,390 Are you in trouble? Is everything okay? 394 00:23:02,391 --> 00:23:05,820 Is life hard everywhere? Is everyone alone? 395 00:23:05,821 --> 00:23:09,026 All the time. Are you at home Jeffrey? Should I come over? 396 00:23:09,027 --> 00:23:12,196 You cannot come to me. I must confession you... 397 00:23:12,197 --> 00:23:13,405 I am not Jeffrey. 398 00:23:13,406 --> 00:23:16,485 I understand. I rarely know who I am. 399 00:23:16,486 --> 00:23:19,675 - No, I mean I am not Jeffrey. - Let it out. 400 00:23:19,676 --> 00:23:22,375 I am Takashi. I am teenage boy in Tokyo. 401 00:23:22,376 --> 00:23:24,275 I think we all are sometimes. 402 00:23:25,325 --> 00:23:29,165 I am sorry for making fun before, but now I need a friend. 403 00:23:29,166 --> 00:23:31,725 Why don't I bring you some olives tomorrow, Jeffrey? 404 00:23:31,726 --> 00:23:35,239 - I am not Jeffrey! - I am not the Dean! 405 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:43,370 I often think about that night. 406 00:23:43,371 --> 00:23:47,018 Such a small event, but ultimately... 407 00:23:47,019 --> 00:23:51,083 the moment that would lead me to becoming Ioban. 408 00:23:51,403 --> 00:23:53,948 Highest the leader of the Yakuza. 409 00:23:54,148 --> 00:23:56,690 410 00:23:56,740 --> 00:24:01,290 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0